I think it's partly because misery loves company. People who have had crazy stories like to share them with anyone on the street. And don't get me wrong, I've had plenty of friends who have had plenty of different kinds of births. Hearing their stories is always welcome. I want to share in their lives, and hear about their experiences. I want to know how they brought their cute little bundles into this world, and whether it was short, long, natural or cesarean, I want all the details.
The details I don't want, are from the woman at the dollar store, whose cousin's best friends hair dresser tried to have a natural child birth, and ended up tearing so bad she had to have 15 stitches and 3 re-constructive surgeries. Or the waitress at the lunch place, asking me with a wince on her face when I'm due, and when I tell her, responding with "the good news is, once the baby is out, you have something to be thankful for, because labour is HELL and you want to die".
These stories are not helpful, and they aren't productive. And some of my friends have had some pretty intense labour experiences, and not one of them has ever told me labour was hell or that they wanted to die.
So when I read stories like the one from Allison at OMyFamily, I just melt. It's exactly the story I hope to be telling you all when we welcome our daughter into the world.
Allison starts her 2-part story pretty much how I feel about this whole attempt at a natural child birth. You see, there is, for SOME REASON certain women who think those looking for a natural experience are either REALLY crunchy, or just plain smug. And neither has to be true. Sure either CAN be true, but let's face it, there is a huge grey area in there, where women like me and Allison (and a million others) sit. This is the area where we just want to try to let our bodies do what they were built for. And the area where we're afraid of big scary needles in our spines, temporarily paralyzing us from the waist down.
In order to ensure you don't find her smug, Allison even prefaces her story with "If in the following story you perceive a twinge of smugness or any symptoms of i’msoholy-ididn’thaveanepidural-itis, please know that it was by no means intended"
She then goes on to say something you almost never hear, something so welcoming and unexpected, I've actually read it several times. Something I will be thinking about when I am in the dredges of labour and doubting myself. She said "You must believe me when I tell you that OBABY’S BIRTH WAS AMAZING. I want to shout it because I think that every sister, aunt, grandma, stranger, and otherwise well-intentioned woman who has ever intentionally or inadvertently scared the buh-geezus out of a first time mom regarding labor and delivery NEEDS TO HEAR THIS:
BIRTH CAN BE WONDERFUL"
The rest of her story is a beautiful, heartfelt account of how birth can be a wonderful experience. I am 100% sure she experienced some level of pain, but she never even mentions it. The pain did not define the experience for her, and it is not the overall theme of her fairly long labour. She even manages to have a smile on her face in all the photos she's shared. From this story, I believe she truly enjoyed the process of bringing OBaby into this world, and I can only hope my experience is the same. Heck, I'd settle for almost as good.
This is one of my favourite birth stories so far. So go, read it. Empower yourself to enjoy your birth, and get over the fear that's come from years of TLC programming, movie births and crazy people behind counters in retail locations.
6 comments to Birth Stories - The Arrival of OMyFamily's OBaby:
Ok I'm pretty much crying. Thank you so much for the kind words.
I go back and read our story about once a month because I just can't get over it. You're right, the pain wasn't the defining part of the experience. Sure, it was there, but so were immesurable amounts of hope and excitement. Because of that and because I wasn't afraid of what my body was doing, pain wasn't the most intense past of the experience. Joy was.
Anyway. Thank you, thank you, thank you for keeping your attitude positive about birth and getting your message out there. We need more "cousin's step-sister's aunt's hairdresser's" stories that are awesome being shared in Target checkout lines.
Blessings!
Tread carefully with listening to everyone else's birth stories. You will find some will freak you out far more than reassure you. I found it best to just go with it, as everyone's is unique. :)
Your comment about ladies at the Dollar Store brought back a memory I would LOVE to share with you. Hahaha. Oh boy... My akward experience at the grocery store
:)
When I was preggo I couldn't get enough of birth stories. It was an obsession.
Not so much now, but I have a feeling it will return with the next pregnancy!
You're adorable btw! Found you on pursuitofmomminess.
Here's my birth story if you'd like another one!
http://theleppers.blogspot.com/2009/05/birth-story.html
Wow...great post! I agree. Man those crazy, scary just plain gross birth stories that have been told through the years have really put the birthing process in a negative light. And it shouldn't be that way! Good for you for going natural and drug free! I am only 5 weeks prego, so haven't quite decided what I'm doing...still have time yet...in research phase. I will go and read OMyBaby birth story!
Also...I named your blog as one of my 2 recommended blogs at Connect MEme Monday! Hope you can check it out!
http://thepursuitofmommyness.com/
I have no clue why people love to tell pregnant women horror stories. We had a med free birth with Monkey Mae and it was very empowering and truthfully, that "pain" was really just crazy, intense pressure. You can do it!
The wonderful thing about birth is that each child's birth is unique. I have wonderful, amazing memories of each of my children's births. Embracing the experience makes a huge difference.
I think that every pregnant woman in her last trimester should have a klaxon on a sensor that automatically drowns out anyone who wants to share their bizarrely awful birth story.
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