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It's like this, and like that....

I started this blog in an effort to track my experiences with pregnancy and beyond. Writing is therapeutic. Kind of like talking to myself without the people in WalMart thinking I'm crazy. If you find some entertainment in this along the way, then even better!

This is one woman's journey through unfathomable hunger, vivid sex dreams and a bulging belly...from conception to birth in 9 months or less...

My K9 has no canines, and other whiny pregnant ladyness...

Tuesday, January 5, 2010
I have had one of those days that just makes you want to give up. You know, pack your shit, check yourself into somewhere with padded walls, and resign yourself to eating tasteless broth and applesauce for the rest of your life, taking comfort in that fact that at the very least, you will be strongly medicated until you die. But this is the easy way out, and if I was going to take the easy way with anything you think I would have started by now.

It's not that today was particularly catastrophic. In fact, compared to a lot of other days I have, this one was a piece of cake. But something about being almost 7 months pregnant, and slowly losing my ability to do it all no matter what, is wearing heavy on my last nerve. And my eyelids. I swear I'm aging by the minute, and it pisses me off, because quite frankly I was convinced for a long time that I would remain that fresh faced 20 year old forever. I've seen old people, lots of them, and thought to myself "I bet she was pretty", followed by "I'm never going to look like that". I always KNEW I would, but when you're still all shiny and new, with a vacant uterus that's never seen more than the odd cyst, and no concept of the graphic nature of child birth, these things are easy to say. And then you get pregnant, and well, it's all down hill from there.

No not REALLY. I am sure I am going to LOVE being a mother, and will wear proudly the battle scars from becoming one. But right now, today, I'm exhausted and cranky, not to mention hormonal, so I'm allowed to whine about the havoc that's being wreaked on my body. Even if it's not the reason I've had such a day from all hell.

First off, it's the Hubs birthday today. And this does not make my day suck. In fact, it should be a great day full of love and gift showering and all the things I want and expect on my birthday. However, I did not get my post-Christmas self together fast enough to do any of that, and took a selfish pass on the whole thing. We will go out for dinner here shortly, and we are getting together with close friends on Friday to celebrate. But gift I do not have. For several reasons, the least of which is the fact that I have $23.97 in my bank until Friday, and he does not need any flashlight key chains from the dollar store. The other reason being, he wants a new laptop and I've given him the green light to use some of the joint savings to cover some of that cost. So I figure in a roundabout way, I'm contributing. And the biggest and most important reason is, of course, the small child currently jamming her foot into some organ I didn't know I had. I'm giving him the gift of life, see, so what if it'll be 3 months later than his birthday? I started creating this gift a whopping 6.5 months ago, so there. A soon to be crying, pooping, helpless little girl who will turn his hair grey and probably grow up to be just as sassy to him as I am. And I don't think there is a better gift around.

The second suckatacular reason for today's whinefest (and the Hubs lack of a gift) is that, my dog had dental surgery today. I don't know if you saw my post about the Top 10 Things that make me happy but, he's #1. So today, I took him to the vet, where they sedated him heavily and removed, not 1, not 2 but 6 teeth from his tiny little head. That's right, my crazy little monkey is SO hard on his teeth, what with hanging from tree branches and carrying driftwood larger than his mother around, that he's cracked, broken or otherwise damaged his teeth to epic proportions. He is no longer a dog as far as I can tell, because my K9 has no more canine teeth left. Yup, they took all 4, and a molar, and 2 incisors just for fun. Oh joy. This has relieved me both of guilt free puppy mamahood, and approximately $1200. I took him in this morning, hugged his happy little face so close, gave him a big kiss and bawled. I bawled because one time I read of another Boston Terrier, who was over sedated and died on the operating table, and it's all I can think about. Damn internets. I bawled like a crazy person and the little dude at the front desk must have thought I was insane. Too bad my winter coat covers up the bump, or maybe I could have passed it off as that? The good news is, he's awake and well, so despite putting me in the poor house, he's perfectly fine and I am VERY relieved.

Suckfest # 3 (and I am listing these in the order in which they occurred, and not which suckniess sucked more than the other suckinesses), is that we had to resume the epic office move from hell today. Shortly before Christmas (Dec 21 to be exact) we tried to move from one too small office to another slightly less than too small office. Packed we were, ready to go on the preceeding Friday, only to get a phone call that the new office had flooded. FLOODED, with POO water. Everywhere. POO WATER. Ugh. The saving grace being that we had no possessions to be ruined, the kick you in the shins shitfest being, we also had no office, no server and no ability to get mail or function. We also happen to have  work for 57 people and 12 bodies to do it all, so no ability to simply throw our hands up and say "oh well it's the Holidays". So, we crammed an entire office into 1 room of this new office, and after 9 treacherous hours of moving crap, we were only part way done. You can imagine my joy when they told me we could move full in today, because that meant MORE office moving. Super duper. The entire thing has been fraught with insanity, from a lack of connections and phones (and if I cannot tweet from my desk about how annoying my movers smell, then how will I survive?) to the flood, to the bitchy other pregnant lady who works in the office next door, and is subletting this space to us. So ya, moving offices sucks. Period. The end.

So to top today off, I had to attend my grandmothers funeral. And while it may seem trite to put her at the end of this list of things that made today a tough one, it's simply because that was the last thing to happen today and because I have no bitching to do about her or her funeral. It did not ruin my day, and I do not resent having to go. I only resent not having more time, patience and energy to give her the me she deserved today. She died on Christmas day, after a short (well long if you count the fact this was her coming out of remission after 25 years) battle with lung cancer (thumbs up to the fuktards smoking outside at her wake, way to go geniuses). And because of the holidays, we have not buried her until now. My ragingly dysfunctional family (to give you some insight, she's my stepdad's step mother, and his two step brothers were there with their step children, so none of us are really technically related to anyone else), were out in fine form. And not even for one day, could they all suck it up, stop being so selfish and let her be buried in peace. We weren't always that close, grandma and I, but she took me in when I was 3 years old, her stepsons girlfriends daughter, and treated me like I was her own flesh and blood. And caring like that cannot go unrecognized. And today, she was laid to rest beside my grandfather, who passed 6 years ago. And I think, she's probably the happiest she's been in those 6 years to be with him again.

And that is the day I had today. I realize this is not exactly uplifting or too pregnancy specific, but I had to let it out somewhere. I promise to get back to my regularly scheduled insanity first thing tomorrow, when we hit 29 weeks and I try to see if I can put on my pre-preggo pants...you know, for shits and giggles :D I anticipate a lot of shits, and not so many giggles but, we shall see.


6 comments to My K9 has no canines, and other whiny pregnant ladyness...:

The Mommyologist said...

So sorry to hear about your grandmother!

And you have every right to whine whenever you want as a pregnant lady.

Hope your week improves!

Babe_chilla said...

Hey there you are, I was starting to wonder :D I haven't seen anything from you in a few days. This is how weird I am, I worry about my internet friends who haven't posted in 1.5 days :P

Mommy Kennedy said...

Hi! Popping by through SITS! So sorry to hear about your day! It really does get better! I promise!

Colleen @ MuralMaker&More said...

stopping by from SITS. doncha love blogs - to let everything out? I had a day (maybe not as bad as yours) where I wanted to hide, but then today, magically, everything seems wonderful. Nothing changed. Just a great day.

Hope you have one too soon!

Helene said...

I'm sorry about your grandmother and that your day has been completely sucky. I do agree with the fact that growing your husband's child in your belly counts as a birthday gift...in fact, it counts as the best gift of all time. Best part...there is no option for him to say, "It's cute but I kinda wanted one with brown hair. What's the return policy?"

Found you through SITS...your blog is adorable and I love, love, love your sense of humor!

Babe_chilla said...

Helene, thanks! I am here to entertain :D

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