So I'm not sure WHY this happened so early, but somewhere around 22 Weeks my belly button decided it wanted some more attention. I don't know if it was feeling left out, seeing as my belly was suddenly the focal point for all my social encounters, or if it was simply angry at me for removing the navel ring I'd had in since the tender age of 14, but it decided to take a stand. And it's been becoming increasingly demanding of time and attention ever since.
At this point, it's almost downright embarrassing. I'm pretty sure small, personal aircraft pilots could use it as a beacon, to navigate their way to my city and safely land their planes. If I just lift my shirt and lie flat on my back, I think the Russian space centre could pick it up, and use it as a GPS location point (ok I have no idea how GPS works, but I'm guessing some satellite somewhere finds reference points, so I'm going with that for now). And the thing is, I don't see it getting smaller anytime soon. Why would it?
I've read this is a result of my uterus pushing from behind, more so than the size of my daughter to be. So I take comfort in that at least. Enlarged uterus I can handle, it's not like I ever have to look that thing in the eye. But I'd really love to know how much farther out my button wants to protrude. Not that I could control it, I just want to know if I need to make preparations. You know, sending out warnings to the space stations, and ensuring I'm not mistaken for a runway at any point.
My friends seem to find this whole thing completely hilarious, with a side of alarming. The button has been called my "3rd nipple" on a number of occasions, which only has me wondering, what do these people think my nipples look like anyway? And honestly, "Jumbo Button" or "Aircraft Beacon" or "Weird Squishy Protruding Mass" all sound a little better to me than 3rd nipple, but what can you do?
Most times, the "3rd nipple" comment is followed either by "eww it's so weird" or "ick, you think it'll ever go back to normal?". And on particularly lucky occasions, I get both. And honestly, I know it's weird. I touch it all the time and think it's strange, and squishy. I get a little bit freaked out by how it feels, but I'm also morbidly curious and obsessed with touching it. And I also wonder every day whether it will go back to normal or not. But asking me if it will is like asking me if I think I'll avoid getting stretch marks or gaining a lot of weight. The answer's the same "I have no idea, but DEAR GAWD I HOPE SO!!".
Obviously I have no control over these things, and if I DID, clearly I would choose to go back to my EXACT pre-pregnancy body, without 1 inch of skin out of place and not 1 ounce more fat. And I'd choose to go back to that body before I ever left the hospital. But as with so many things pregnancy and labour related, you're severely limited in how much control you have.
You truly are gestating an alien form, that's going to do to you exactly what she wants, no matter the consequences. And the best part is, you tried hard to put her in there. You'll do everything you can to keep her there for the requisite 38-40 weeks, and love every minuscule piece of her, no matter what she puts your body through. It's a special kind of love, the kind that will allow someone to mess with your body and have you not put them on your hit list. It's a love you can only ever have for your child.
But back to my belly button. I have to say, I BARELY got over how offensive I found it sans navel barbell (ok honestly, I never got over how offensive I found it) before it started to stick itself out, beg to be touched and ridiculed, not even pretending to hide under my shirts anymore. But here I am, and she sticks out. And I've had people tell me "you know you can buy thinks to cover that" and, yes I do know. But I feel like that's accepting defeat, like I'm allowing the button to kick my self esteems ass, and I just can't give THAT much control to a part of my body I've never really understood in the first place. And besides, as strange and awkward as it looks to the outside world, it's a badge of honour I wear with pride. It's one of the first things my daughter has ever given me, and I can't deny the importance of that.
Even if it is just a stupid, protruding belly button..............
It's like this, and like that....
I started this blog in an effort to track my experiences with pregnancy and beyond. Writing is therapeutic. Kind of like talking to myself without the people in WalMart thinking I'm crazy. If you find some entertainment in this along the way, then even better!
This is one woman's journey through unfathomable hunger, vivid sex dreams and a bulging belly...from conception to birth in 9 months or less...