Vagina hiccups, who knew?

So I put Google Analytics on my blog the other day, because I am the curious type and wanted to know what things brought people to my blog, and how much. I'm into myself, I'll admit it, and all I want is for someone to read my little blog and enjoy it. I also liked stats in school and so, seeing things in numbers makes me happy.

I've pretty much learned that I am not that highly read. Which is honestly no surprise. I mean, I'm new and I'm not even that good at promoting myself. I don't know what else I need to do, but I'm working on it. I read and comment on other blogs, I tweet and follow peeps and I have joined SITS, which is where a majority of my traffic comes from.

I also got to see where some of my search traffic comes from. Mind you, it's practically nil. There were a few pregnancy blog related searches that have delivered me a reader or two. Well, I don't know if you can call them a reader when the bounce rate is that high, but I'll take it. Whatever gets me out there.

The most interesting search that has drawn someone to my site (someone who hung out for over 1:57 minutes!!!) was "Vagina Hiccups".

Now, this in and of itself is neither surprising nor strange. I did write an entire post about my vagina having the hiccups. But what IS strange is that somewhere, someone out there, is Googling "Vagina Hiccups". Someone other than me, is experiencing vaginal hiccups, and there is no way to know if said person is even pregnant.

Clearly, we can assume it was a woman (or let me assume this, the prospect of it being a MALE is far to creeparrific to allow myself to consider this an option), because of the word vagina. But the hiccups, Really? Someone else is experiencing this? And not only are they having the experience, it appears that it's not gestationally related. Honestly, while it FEELS like my vagina is experiencing the rhythmic 'up up up' that are in utero hiccups, I am WELL aware that it's simply the position of my daughter in the womb, and nothing more. It never would have promoted me to Google such things, or to be unsure about it. The whole "my vagina has the hiccups" was more a clever title designed to get you people reading me! I've known full well what's going on the entire time.

The fact that someone Googled it means, they are unsure as to what is happening in their body. It means that they, in fact, are concerned that their vag actually HAS the hiccups, and that this is abnormal. It means that something is happening to this searcher, that replicates a hiccuping vagina, and is not related to a baby.

I'm worried for this person. Honestly, what could that be? How could this happen to anyone else? I'm tempted to log into my AdWords account from work and see what stats I can find out about vaginal hiccups. I mean, is this a widely experiences phenomenon that no one is discussing but many are experiencing? Can this actually HAPPEN to people? I somehow doubt it. 

I suspect this is some rogue search from a confused pre-teen experiencing something strange after a hot and heavy petting session with the boy from the coffee shop. Or perhaps it's some college girl with a throbbing sensation she doesn't want to admit she "caught" somewhere. Or maybe, it's another one of those "I didn't know I was Pregnant" women, whose vagina actually feels like it's hiccuping.

Either way, I can't help but find this strange. But I'll take it. Whatever gets me a reader ;)